To grow responsible adults, teach children to communicate

Martina Muthoni, 2. Parents should teach children to communicate.

Not many took over 10 years on their undergraduate studies. I did. However, I am certain mine is not an isolated case. It can happen to children and teenagers who are poor communicators.  

   

Without communication, individuals cannot get along. It requires effective communication for individuals to have their ways in institutions, and succeed in life. Children need to learn communication skills to develop favorable personalities. 

Parents, guardians have a responsibility of ensuring that children acquire effective communication skills early enough. Nurturing communication skills should not stop even at the height of teenage. I can confirm that doing so is counterproductive.

After mysteriously missing a place in Starehe Boy’s Center, and the inability to afford schooling in Maseno School, I ended up enrolling in a public day school within a cycling distance from home. This, of course, was after a lot of persuasion from my father that he would do everything within his means to ensure that I acquire secondary school education. 

Dad would work at the school, drawing water and collecting firewood, for use at the school. Throughout the four years, my studies went on uninterrupted. I did well. But I missed the opportunity to hone my communication skills. I did not get the opportunity to explain to the school’s administration that my fees would delay, and convincing them to keep me in school in the meantime, for instance. 

Joining the University of Nairobi subjected my poor communication skills to test. It all started with my attempt at Interfaculty Transfers. Thrice, I attempted appealing for a change in the course that I was supposed to pursue, in vain. Nothing is more infuriating. 

It became worse when I learned belatedly that my Medicine, Mechanical Engineering, and Law choices were my undoing, since, according to the Joint Admission Board, they did not depict my interest, passion.  Did they know which school I came from and that I had never assumed heavy responsibilities before?

That colleagues with lower grades could shift faculties with ease heightened my frustration. At some point, I wished that Dad could be around to talk things out. 

Many would take my throwing in the towel after a two-year struggle at the University of Nairobi as the height of indiscipline. And it could be the case, especially considering the impatience. However, methinks that my poor communication skills were responsible. 

Inability to express myself to the authorities at the University, at least with the anticipated gusto, I came to realize, was to blame for my tribulations. If I had camped at the administration, for instance, I am convinced I could have seen the resolution of my predicament. At least, they would have explained the determination to dismiss the request for course transfer incessantly. 

My case borders on the extreme. However, I am certain it is not isolated. Several students attend remote schools where JAB, for some reason, cannot reach out, or where the administration and teachers are ambivalent. 

Irrespective of the background, children grow into adults who interact with one another and with institutions. Armed with communication skills, they are able to express themselves convincingly. Not many people are ready to take poor communicators seriously.  

More importantly, the ability to communicate well nurtures self-confidence. With high self-esteem, it is safe to assert that children develop into successful teenagers and adults. The reverse is disastrous.

Institutions may not be trusted with inculcating communication skills to children. Kicking back and mourning this will not solve the problem. Parents have a responsibility of ensuring that as children grow into and past teenage, they are able to express themselves and get along with people, institutions. 

Parents can explore several strategies to nurture good communication skills in their children and teenagers. Seeking vivid explanations on behaviors and encouraging critical thinking around particular developments are good starting points. Similarly, developing an accountability culture such that children appreciate reporting on events is a good way forward. 

Engaging children in assignments that entail interacting with authorities can go a long way into imbuing them with communication skills. You do not know how much allowing your teenager to question your decision on acquiring a new car can save his/her future. 

Parents should stop pampering their children even in teenage. Instead, they should teach them how to get along with others and institutions. To grow responsible adults, teach children to communicate.

Daily Nation: http://www.nation.co.ke/lifestyle/Living/The-best-gift-a-parent-can-give-a-child/-/1218/2335478/-/1cao2qz/-/index.html